Is Your Child Really Listening? A Simple Way to Check Their Language Understanding

Sometimes it seems like your child is listening. They respond. They use words. But something still feels off. Are they really processing what you're saying, or just guessing based on what they expect?

This is actually a big question in early language development. And I'm going to show you one really simple game you can play to start understanding if your child is attending to each word in your question — and why that matters.

Start Here: A Simple Color & Number Game

This activity looks like a casual color and number game — but it's doing something powerful under the hood. Ready?

1. First, you’ll need to check two basic skills: Can your child name numbers when shown (like holding up a 2 and hearing “two”), and can they label colors (like saying “red” or “blue” when shown)?
2. If yes, great — you’re ready to try the combo!
3. Create a few cards (on paper or computer): each one should have a number in a different color. For example: a red “3”, a blue “2”, a green “4”.
4. Lay them out in front of your child. Now, take turns asking two kinds of questions. Point to a card and ask either:
   • “What color?”
   • or “What number?”
5. Your child should respond with either the color or number — based on exactly what you asked. Not just blurt out one or the other every time.

That’s it. That’s the setup. But what you’re checking is subtle and important.

Why This Matters: Understanding Verbal Conditional Discrimination

This game is more than color and number matching. It's testing whether your child is capable of something called verbal conditional discrimination.

Let me explain it simply: When a sentence has more than one important word — like “What color?” or “What number?” — your child has to process each word to understand what you’re really asking. If they just hear “what” and guess? That’s not real comprehension.

This skill becomes essential as sentences get more complex. Think about these examples:

• “Put the blue cup on the red plate.”
• “Give Dad the car and give Mom the train.”

To follow these instructions, kids need to listen closely to every part — and know how to respond based on the FULL verbal cue.

Step-by-Step Strategy to Check This Skill at Home

Here’s a simple version you can do tonight:

1. Make 3–5 cards with different colored numbers. Example: blue 2, red 4, green 3.
2. Place them in front of your child.
3. Say:
   • 🟦 Point to a card and ask, “What color?”
   • 🟥 Then point to another and ask, “What number?”
4. Go back and forth unpredictably — don’t always repeat the same type of question.
5. Watch: Does your child answer based on what you actually asked, or are they defaulting to just saying the number every time?

If they answer both correctly — “blue” when you said “what color?”, “2” when you said “what number?” — that’s huge. It shows they’re listening to the full sentence and adjusting their response accordingly.

If not — that's okay too. It’s a sign they may be relying on partial cues or habits. And we can support that.

Real-Life Scripts You Can Use

Here’s how this might sound with your child:

• You point to a red 3. You say, “What color?”
• Your child says: “Red” ✅
• You point to a green 2. You say, “What number?”
• Your child says: “Two” ✅

If instead your child just keeps saying a number, even when you clearly ask “what color?” — that means the number is “exerting stronger control.” That’s just a fancy way of saying: it’s become their go-to, and they might not be fully attending to your language yet.

It’s not about being wrong. It’s about understanding what skill still needs building.

When to Seek Support

If your child can label numbers and colors separately, but struggles to follow simple mixed questions like this, it may be a sign they need help developing language comprehension based on listening.

This doesn’t mean something is wrong — it means there’s a specific gap we can target early, before more complex language demands pile on.

If you're concerned about whether your child's language is on track — or how to build skills like this in a fun way — I made a free developmental milestones guide to help you get clarity on what to look for. It breaks things down by age and gives you practical tools to observe real skills at home.

You’re Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Guess

So many parents aren’t told how critical these small listening shifts are — or how to test them in a simple way. That’s why early intervention matters.

If you’d like more personalized support, you can schedule a free 30-minute discovery call with me to see if consultation is right for you and your family. I’ll meet you where you are, and together we’ll figure out the next step forward.

FAQ

What is verbal conditional discrimination?

It's the ability to respond correctly based on all the words in a verbal cue. For example, adjusting your answer based on whether someone says “What color?” or “What number?” — not just responding to one part or guessing.

Why does my child always say the number, even when I ask for the color?

This usually means the number is “controlling” their behavior — it's the response that’s been reinforced more often, so they fall back on it. It’s common, and it tells us we need to help them shift attention back to the specific question you're asking.

What if my child can’t label colors or numbers yet?

That’s no problem — just focus first on building those single skills one at a time. This combo activity only works once both of those are solid. It’s like needing all the ingredients before you bake the cake.

Is this relevant for autistic toddlers?

Absolutely. Many autistic children struggle with processing multi-word instructions. Testing and supporting this skill early can make a big difference in language development — especially before preschool demands increase.

Can I teach this skill at home, or do I need a specialist?

You can absolutely build this at home with simple games like this. If you want more tailored strategies, I’m here to help you get started in a parent-friendly way that works in your daily routines.