Helping Your Child Learn to Look at Faces: A Foundational Step for Communication

If your toddler rarely looks at your face—or anyone's—you're not alone. Many parents notice this and wonder what it means, especially if their child is also delayed in talking. This can feel scary and isolating. I want you to know: you’re not doing anything wrong, and this is more common than you might think.

There are simple, powerful ways to help your child begin looking at faces more often—and every time they do, it's an open door to connection, communication, and learning. Let’s talk about how to create that door.

A Simple First Step You Can Start Tonight

You can begin building your child’s interest in faces in a matter of minutes—with zero special materials and right at home.

Here’s one way:

1. Sit across from your child at a table or on the floor. Be face-to-face at their level.
2. Choose a fun, sensory game—something that makes them giggle. You might gently tickle their arms with a feather duster or pretend to creep little finger spiders up their arms.
3. Do the fun part a few times. Then pause. Stop completely.
4. Wait. Don’t prompt. Just pause and wait for your child to look at your face.
5. The moment they do—light up and do the fun activity again.

You're not just playing. You’re helping your child learn that faces matter. That your face is where the good stuff begins.

Why This Matters

So much learning happens at the face—especially when it comes to speech, social connection, and emotional attunement. Children pick up on how mouths move to make sounds, how expressions change with emotion, and how faces guide the rhythm of interaction.

When a child isn’t looking at faces, they’re likely missing out on a rich layer of information that fuels speech and social development. For children who are already late talkers or showing signs of developmental delay, helping them attend to faces is a critical first step to get things moving in the right direction.

How to Build Face-Looking into Everyday Life

Here are a few more ways to embed this simple idea—face = fun—into your daily routines:

• Shared snack time: Make silly faces after each bite and pause to wait for them to look at you before continuing.
• Bath time play: Splash, pause, look. When they look back at you—go again!
• Book reading: Pause before turning the page. When they glance at you, turn it with excitement.
• Peekaboo variation: Pop out from behind a towel or scarf. When they giggle, disappear again and wait for that moment they seek your eyes before reappearing.

The key is repetition and pairing. Every time they look at your face, something enjoyable follows. Their brain begins to associate looking with reward, and they start doing it more naturally.

Real-Life Teaching Scripts

Let’s ground this with what it might actually sound like:

• ("Finger spider" crawling up arm) “Creepy crawly… all the way up!”
• (Pause. Child looks.) “You found me—here comes the spider again!”
• (Giggling during feather tickles) “Sooooo tickle-y!” (Stops. Waits. Child looks.) “There’s that face—I see you! More tickles coming!”

These aren't prompts like “look at me.” They're natural moments layered with joy and shared experience, where the child chooses to connect—and learns faces are worth looking at.

When to Seek Support

If your child rarely looks at faces, avoids eye contact, and isn’t showing typical early communication milestones (like pointing, babbling, or showing you things), it might be time to explore further support. These signs may be early indicators of autism or other developmental differences—but they’re also signals that your child may need more tailored help learning how to connect and communicate.

To help you make sense of what’s typical and what might need a closer look, I created a free developmental milestones guide. It’s designed to give you clarity and peace of mind—and real steps to take if you’re concerned.

We Can Do This Together

If you’ve read this and thought, “This sounds like my child,” you don’t have to figure this all out on your own. You can schedule a free 30-minute discovery call with me to talk through what you’re seeing and see if consultation is the right next step for your family.

FAQ

What if my child avoids all eye contact completely?

That’s okay to start with. We're not aiming for eye contact as a command, but to build motivation. Start by rewarding even a glance toward your face with something fun. Over time, those glances grow.

Is making my child look at me going to feel forced?

Not at all—especially if you’re using the strategy above. You're not saying “look at me” or pressuring. You’re creating joyful experiences that naturally pull your child’s attention toward your face.

What if this doesn’t work?

Sometimes children need even more support to develop these foundational skills. That’s not a failure on your part—it’s a sign to bring in expert eyes. Early support can make a long-term difference.

Does not looking at faces always mean autism?

No—but it can be a sign. Some children avoid faces due to sensory challenges, temperament, or developmental delays. It’s one piece of the puzzle. My free developmental milestones guide can help you see the bigger picture.

How often should I do this face-looking game?

Daily is great! Even 5-minute play bursts throughout the day, woven into routines, can build a habit of face-learning. The more it happens naturally, the more your child will use it as a gateway to communication.