Why “More” Isn’t Always the Best First Word to Teach

When you're just beginning to work on communication with your child—especially if they’re not yet using words—it can feel like every recommendation, app, or therapist says the same thing: start with “more.” But here’s something most people won’t tell you—“more” might not actually be the best place to start.

In fact, for many children, especially those with complex communication needs or those who are nonspeaking, “more” can actually get in the way of real connection and understanding.

A Simple First Step You Can Take Today

If your child is just beginning to communicate—whether they're verbal, nonspeaking, or somewhere in between—start by teaching them specific, meaningful words connected to what they love.

That might be “cracker,” “bounce,” “car,” or even “tickle.” Pick words that name the things they most want access to in their day-to-day world.

Say the word clearly as you hand them the item. Pause briefly to let them attempt it (verbally, using a gesture, pointing, or AAC), and then give a big, happy response: “Yes! Cracker! You got it!”

Communication is about clarity—helping your child understand that their behavior can send a message and that message gets a result.

Why This Matters for Development

“More” is abstract. It doesn’t tell us what they want more of. That makes it hard for kids to learn the real power of communication.

When we teach a child to ask for “car” or “up” or “banana,” they start to internalize that words (or signs or symbols) connect to real things. There’s meaning behind the sound or movement—and that meaning gets them what they want. That’s when communication becomes motivating.

So when kids are taught “more” first, we sometimes see them sign or say “more” in all kinds of situations—when they’re upset, when they want attention, when they’re frustrated—because “more” has become their only tool. But it's too vague to really meet their needs.

Step-by-Step: A Better Way to Support Early Communication

1. Pick high-interest items. Think: bubbles, songs, snacks, movement games. What does your child get excited about?
2. Select concrete, specific words. Instead of “more,” choose words like “ball,” “swing,” or “milk.”
3. Model the word often. Say or sign it as you offer the activity. If you use AAC (like a speech-generating device or picture board), model on the same tool your child uses.
4. Pause and wait. Give your child a brief moment to try to communicate—look toward the item, reach, vocalize, gesture, or use a symbol.
5. Reinforce immediately. Respond with enthusiasm and give the item. Repeat the word clearly again: “Yes! Swing!”

Real-Life Scripts You Can Use

Here’s how this might sound in everyday moments:

• During snack time: “You want more? Ok—say cracker… Cracker! Here you go, cracker!”
• Before an activity: “Ready to bounce? Say bounce… Bounce! Let’s go bounce!”
• Playing with bubbles: “You’re watching the bubbles… do you want bubbles? Say bubbles… Bubbles! Yay!”

These scripts help you build both language and joy. You’re showing your child that their communication works. That’s empowering—whether it’s their first word or their first time using a device.

When to Rethink “More” as a Target Word

Even for children with higher support needs—kids sometimes labeled as “Level 3”—there’s a powerful truth I’ve seen over and over: they can learn real, functional language.

And they deserve access to it. Starting with vague words like “more” can actually delay how quickly they learn to communicate clearly.

So if a therapist or teacher is starting with “more” simply because it’s familiar or easy to prompt, it’s okay to pause and ask: can we start with something more meaningful?

How to Know When to Seek Support

If your child is still not using words, signs, or AAC to communicate clearly—especially past 18 months—it’s absolutely worth getting support. You’re not behind. You’re right on time to make a difference.

The earlier we build these foundational skills, the stronger and more flexible your child’s communication will be down the road.

To help you understand what to expect and what to look for, I created my free developmental milestones guide. It breaks down the most important skills and gives clear examples so you can feel more confident about your child’s progress.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If you’d like more personalized support—or if you’re feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start—you can schedule a free 30-minute discovery call with me to see if consultation is right for you and your family.

FAQs

What does “Level 3” mean in autism?

Level 3 autism is a term sometimes used to describe children who need very substantial support in daily life. But it’s also a broad label and doesn't define their strengths, learning potential, or worth. Many Level 3 kids can build meaningful communication—it just takes the right approach.

Is it ever okay to teach “more” as a starting word?

If your child already understands the idea of requesting and is working on combining words, “more” might be useful in phrases like “more bubbles” or “more tickles.” But as a first word? It’s rarely the most helpful starting place.

What if my child is nonspeaking?

These same principles apply! You can model with signs, pictures, gestures, or AAC. What matters most is clarity—helping them connect communication with a specific, meaningful result.

How long should I wait for my child to try to communicate before giving them the item?

Just a few seconds—2 to 5 is plenty. We want to create an opportunity, not pressure. Look for any attempt (eye contact, reaching, vocalizing) and build from there.

Shouldn’t I praise any attempt at communication, even if it’s just “more”?

Absolutely—if your child independently says or signs “more,” that’s a win! Celebrate it. But as the adult choosing what to model and teach, focus on more specific words that help them grow. You’re guiding, not limiting.